Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Rev. Robertson's Direct Pipeline to The Lord

Run for cover—Pat Robertson's been talking to God again. That's right, folks, the self-appointed moral scold and host of CBN television's 700 Club has announced the terrifying news emanating from his latest encounter with The Lord.

In an AP report from Robertson's Virginia Beach headquarters, Robertson said that God told him that the U.S. will be attacked by terrorists sometime in 2007.

“I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear,” Robertson said. “The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that,” the AP reported.

The AP report goes on:
Robertson said God told him during a recent prayer retreat that major cities and possibly millions of people will be affected by the attack, which should take place sometime after September.

Robertson said God also told him that the U.S. only feigns friendship with Israel and that U.S. policies are pushing Israel toward “national suicide.”

Robertson suggested in January 2006 that God punished then-Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon with a stroke for ceding Israeli-controlled land to the Palestinians.
We're delighted to know that Robertson's pipeline to God is still working. We just wish Robertson could have used his powerful interviewing skills to coax God into providing more specifics.

Think how prepared the Homeland Security folks could be if Robertson could have used the Lord's infallible intelligence operation to pin down the time and place of the next attack. Millions of lives could be saved.

But no—Robertson couldn't get God to give us the details. Come to think of it, where was Robertson and his heavenly hotline on Sept. 11, 2001?

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