Those evil secular humanists down in Norman (read: Sin City) are rubbing our noses in —Yikes!—evolutionary science.
That's right Sooner fans, in honor of the 150th anniversary of (brace yourself!) Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species, OU is celebrating the world's most famous naturalist and the father of (again: brace yourself) the theory of evolution.
This is no small celebration either. OU is hosting several months of lectures and events on Darwin and his ideas, including events that involve (Heaven help us!) OU students, young minds that will be forever warped by exposure to Satanic and alien ideas.
Imagine that: University students (right here in the Heartland) exposed to Darwin and evolution. Next thing you know, they will be reading Marx, drinking wine and thinking impure thoughts!
Those evil OU administrators and professors (and—who knows?— even coaches!) will even be hosting the infamous nonbeliever Richard Dawkins for a lecture.
He's an actual atheist, and no atheist should ever speak in Oklahoma, much less at OU. That might cause all of us believers to question our faith in God, Republican politics, and—Heaven forbid!—Sooner football. And, let's face it, fellow Okies: We can't have any of that.
If you dare, you can read more about OU's Darwin Project here.