Sunday, April 25, 2010

Sunday Funnies: The Paranoia Behind the Weird Microchip Implant Ban

AltTulsa tends not to believe in fantasies, especially the kind cooked up by people with weird conspiracy theories and way too much time on their hands. 

The other day, the state of Georgia began plans to forbid the implantation of microchips in people's bodies for the purpose of controlling these people. One witness before a state legislative committee claimed she had one now, planted by the Defense Department in her "vaginal-rectum area."

Oh, really? Lady, that's too much information.

A Virginia legislator thinks the ban is a good idea, in accordance with Biblical prophecy. The Great State of Missouri has worked on this "problem" as well—can Oklahoma be far behind?

More on this bizarre story here.


TedTheCat said...

I seem to recall that our bozos in OKC have already talked about a chip implantation law, something about an exception to allow a chip to be placed inside every convicted felon, but not to the point that it would constitute the Mark of the Beast. Something like that. I have trouble following their logic.

Tulsan said...

Chip implantation may be the only way to explain the behavior of our legislators. I think Senor 666 has been pushing their buttons on his remote.

Ed W said...

I'm just wondering what the purpose of that chip implanted in her 'vaginal-rectal area' (or as it's known to clinicians as the 'taint') could possibly be? I mean, if it's intended for remote control, could her husband be pleasuring her with his TV controller? Does it make her switch from Ice Princess mode to Bawdy Nymphomaniac at the touch of her button? Inquiring minds want to know...and they REALLY want to know where to buy one.